Starting up again

I do not know why it’s been so long since I have written.  I was in a very dark place that took months to get out of with the help and support of a good Psychiatrist and counselor.  Yes, I have been diagnosed with PTSD and depression.  Mostly from the “incident” and how significantly it has changed my life. There were days I was sleeping over 18 hours a day, not leaving the house for 3 weeks at a time.  The fatigue became so intense, once diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome by a sleep neurologist, I sought out the help of a psychiatrist.  I knew I needed one that had experience in Vicarious trauma.  Perhaps one that has worked with first responder trauma as well.  Once I found “the one” we began working together right away. Pairing me with a counselor who also works with the trauma I have experienced. I immediately was put on medication to help me stay awake, which has been beneficial, as I was unable to drive myself to appointments before never knowing when the overwhelming fatigue would come over me. He scheduled me for Ketamine infusions within a couple weeks of meeting me due to the mental state I was in.  I did 3 a week for 2 weeks. Ketamine does help with pain, but psychiatry uses it for depression and PTSD.  I would say it helped me in the sense I became more interested in activities around the house. I began Piano lessons and started doing crafts daily.   My medication for the fatigue has been increased 3 times since my intial visit.  The pain robs me of my energy.  I am often asleep when my husband walks through the door from work, all I want is to watch a couple shows with him.  I continue to see my mental health providers on a monthly basis. I will be having a maintenance Ketamine infusion in July.   I can not thank my friends enough that have taken me, and sat with me through these procedures.