A New Pair of Pants

I received my maintenance Ketamine infusion a week ago. Very Grateful to my neighbor, MaryKaye who took the time out of her life to once again, take me, and sit with me, until I was done & back to reality.  This infusion did not seem to help me so much as the ones prior.   The previous ones spiked my interest right away about arts/crafts.  This one did not see to make a  Big difference.  I found myself cancelling all appointments the following week, some even medically  necessary. I stayed in the same clothes for several days and my resonance hygiene suffered greatly. I tried to find an outlet for this mood, so I became more Involved in coloring. Joining an online “club” called “coloringbliss.com”.  I tried hard to use this, as I realize how therapeutic art can be.   Isolaxtion has truly set in, people have gone on with their lives, and that’s ok, it’s completely unxderstandable.   Friends have gone back to work, moved away,gotten, busy, or just assumed I was getting better.  Trut

I do not know why it’s been so long since I have written.  I was in a very dark place that took months to get out of with the help and support of a good Psychiatrist and counselor.  Yes, I have been diagnosed with PTSD and depression.  Mostly from the “incident” and how significantly it has changed my life. There were days I was sleeping over 18 hours a day, not leaving the house for 3 weeks at a time.  The fatigue became so intense, once diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome by a sleep neurologist, I sought out the help of a psychiatrist.  I knew I needed one that had experience in Vicarious trauma.  Perhaps one that has worked with first responder trauma as well.  Once I found “the one” we began working together right away. Pairing me with a counselor who also works with the trauma I have experienced. I immediately was put on medication to help me stay awake, which has been beneficial, as I was unable to drive myself to appointments before never knowing when the overwhelming fatigu