As I Wake...

Surgery is meant to heal, to fix you, you expect to wake up and be better than you were before. Waking up for me was a nightmare, it was absolutely traumatic. As I woke, my legs were extremely painful, I could not move them. I was unable to urinate by myself. I was not thinking clearly, I was confused. My pain was so much worse than it was before, it was indescribable. I was unable to verbalize much of this at the time. The Dr's did evaluate me for a stroke, if I could go back and slap each and everyone of them I would. They were clearly looking in the wrong place. Every single bit of my symptoms pointed to a spinal cord injury, and if, and only if they would have noticed immediately could something have been done. Am I angry? Yes, I was, I have had to go through an emotional/mental healing process. An ongoing one for over 3 years and one that will last a lifetime. I suffered severe trauma physically. I tried so hard to let someone know but nobody listened, that kills the spirit. That requires a significant amount of deep healing. I spent 12 days in the hospital learning to walk again. 8 weeks of home Physical and Occupational Therapy and that same amount of time in a recliner with my husband by my side. The healing isn't done though, I have ongoing medical appointments, treatments, therapies, medications, and emotional setbacks to overcome. Here's an explanation of what happened. I now have clumping of the Cauda Equina Nerve Roots at L3. So any sensations controlled by the L3 nerves are permanently damaged. I will provide further medical explanations in future posts. This video provides a look into what the days after surgery were like for me...

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